Monday, March 17, 2008

...and so it begins.

My name is Kristiina and I am now a blogger. There is something calming in the release of your worries and fears. Talking about them makes them seem not so bad. Writing them almost makes the burden of them feel a little less.

I'm joining the blogging world so that I can get life's ponder ables off of my chest.

Over the coming weeks, months and years I will be facing many new adventures and obstacles that will mold my heart and spirit. I look forward to the move across country but I am fearful of the loneliness of leaving my loving family behind. I am thankful for the closeness we share. Especially the sharing of our heartaches with each other while trying to cope with the imminent passing of my grandfather (to cancer). I'm concerned about being committed to two mortgages but am hopeful of the financial gain within a few short years. I look forward to starting a family of my own but hate to do it so far from those that mean so much to me. How can a grandchild learn the wisdom of their grandparents when they are 1800 miles away? Will I ever see the beaches again on which I grew up? Why didn't I go more often?

Is it the beach or the area? Is it the area or the people within it? Is it really the people or do I really mean my family. How can I be without them when they are 90% of who I am?

With tear stained cheeks, I begin my journey to self discovery. Thanks mom for being such an eloquent writer. You have me as a blubbering fool reading your blog. If nothing else, this will be my regular communication with all of you who I love that will be so far away.

...and so it begins...the start to a new diary.


Pam said...

Mmmm... bless your heart! You have a wonderful adventure ahead of you and I'm certain you'll do just fine!! You'll have so much to discover in your new environment from gardening to photography and places to explore, you'll hardly have time to feel lonely. [Big sigh] But you're right... it'll be a big adjustment for everyone - particularly those of us who have to stay here!

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